Very Fishy Funnies & Jokes

Cajun Fishin'

Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day and he done run out night crawlers.  He be bout ruddy to leave when he seen a snake wif a big frog in his mouf.  He knowed dat dem big bass fish like dem frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie.

Dat snake, he be a cotton mouf water moccasin, so he had to be real careful or he'd git bit.  He snuk up behin' dat snake and grabbed him roun de haid.  Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit.  He squirmed and wrap hisself roun' Boudreaux's arm try'n to git hisself free.  But Boudreaux, he had a real good grip on his haid, yeh.

Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his bait can.  Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't leg go dat snake or he's gonna bite him good, but he had a pan.  He reach into de back pocket of his bibs and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker.  He pour some drops into de snake's mouf.  Well, dat snake's eyeballs kinda roll back in his haid and his body go limp.  Wit dat, Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou.  Den he goes back to fishin'.

A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin' tappin' on his barefoot toe.  He slowly look down and dare wuz dat water moccasin wif two more frogs.


Fishing or Sex

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation
took place:

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word.

So they asked him." You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"

Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex?" and she said "Wear sun block.

Questions

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?

The father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breathe underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know son." Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

The father replied, "Of course not, if you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."

Avid Hunter and Fisherman

A hunter was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The hunter took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want."

Again the hunter took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The hunter said, "Look, I'm an avid hunter and when I'm not hunting, I'm fishing, so I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is reall y cool!"

Alligators

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"

"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"

"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there, he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"

"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.

"The sharks got 'em."

Throw Them At Me

Bud had a very bad day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single fish. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

"Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

"But why?"

"Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."